Sometimes I get in a silly mood and post great long sequences of stream-of-consciousness waffle on my twitter account. For no adequately explored reason I decided to make a section on this website in which to list some of them. So here it is.
From Aardvark to Zog and then on to pencils, and shit.
Bordeaux which, taken at the flood, leads on to antlers.
Casabianca - you know, "the boy stood on the burning deck" and all that.
Crossing the Channel can have strange consequences.
Condoms were first used by King John.
Desmond Moines - He Gets Wasps Stoined
Dogs. And flies. And horses and soup.
Dragons and their relevance to dressmaking and sausages.
Freda the Fly How to market shit foamed like an Aero bar.
Mike Ingdom for a horph! - with dope-smoking politicians.
Another rant about the utter shit that is Instagram and everything like it.
Kings who were turds, and the advantages of not having a skeleton.
Manipulation is a universal feature of all human interaction.
I figured out why the Noldor didn't develop nukes.
Roget's Thesaurus is not a dinosaur.
SPOING! Springs and the use of necrophiliac hippos in less-lethal warfare.
The Star-Spangled Wanker Americans may wish to avoid this page.
The Tricerabottoms - or, Why Moths Are Attracted To Light Bulbs
Turds - specifically, four-ended turds, and from those we arrive at Desmond Dekker.
The Venerian Duck - it explodes.
Yurigella - Spoon-bender or disease?
The Wars of the Roses - car-crash history dates.
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